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100 Word Challenge (a whistle blew and everyone disappeared)

June 12th, 2016 by and tagged ,

 

10859 Harley           10879 Eli

On the field, a whistle blew and everyone disappeared. Covering the field, police began to arrive – they were looking for a man (who had a navy blue hat on). Only half an hour before, there had been a robbery in the shop nearby. Guilty and anxious, the man kept on running: he did not want to get caught. “If this cold-hearted man doesn’t get found, I will be furious!” Tired, he finally give up – the police found him. Unfortunately, he was sentenced with eighteen months in jail. He has stolen a bottle of coke and chewing gum.

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Posted in Uncategorised | 7 Comments »



7 Responses to “100 Word Challenge (a whistle blew and everyone disappeared)”

  1.   UmarK Says:

    Great use of punctuation and some strong words like guilty and anxious. All-round it is fantastic. A solid piece of writing. Well done. Why don’t you visit our blog : year615jc.ctkreading.net

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  2.   Mia Says:

    Hi I’m Mia and I am from cvp I hope Germany wins the euros and here’s a fact Germany’s most popular food is made out of beef and pork

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  3.   Tanvi Says:

    1.Wow…That was really interesting, you had me hooked there!
    2.Why did everyone disperse when the whistle blew?
    3.I think to improve you could use more detail and you could have written more.

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  4.   Jonathan Says:

    WHAT A SUPERSTAR ! I loved how you made your piece of writing so interesting it will make the author want to read on.

    Why did the man steal the coke and chewing gum?

    To improve your piece of writing try and look out for mistakes E:G ( Tired, he finally give up )

    (Tired, he finally gave up )

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  5.   Angela Says:

    I love the way that you used descriptive language it really captures the reader.

    why did the theif steal the chewing gum?

    instead of using brackets try to use subordinate clauses

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  6.   Jude Says:

    1.WOW make a part two,make a part two!
    2.Why did he give up?
    3.You could have stopped using he on the last line,but it is steel good.

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  7.   Ola Says:

    Amazing,I like how you are using your imagination , that someone has blew the whistle and everybody has disappeared .

    Why did the man steal those things?

    Your work is good ,but to improve on it you could add in pase to your writing and more suspense to the reader .

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