The whistle what blew in the football match

June 9th, 2016

One day it was the final of the Europe  match. It was nerve racking and the reason is England vs Wales.  At half time it was 2 2 . It whent to golden goal and England scored rashford on his debut.  Loudly a whistle  blew and everyone disappeared from the pitch to  cheer  in the lockeroom.  The team finally  came out again to lift the red and white  trothy. The crowd was screaming  so  lowd. All the fans was going yeah!!!. The players even came over to me. It was the best day of my entire life.It made me feel coferdent for the next Euro .

 

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6 Responses to “The whistle what blew in the football match”

  1. Maddi on June 10, 2016 1:55 pm

    Hello Harley,
    I thought your story was SPECTACULAR. The thing I liked most about it was that you were straight into the action and didn’t waste words going on about what happend before. Well done! I spotted an adverbial opener of . Great job.

    But, I spotted a spelling mistake in this sentence.
    Original sentence : It made me feel coferdent for the next Euro.
    Have you spotted it? Can you correct it?

    From Maddi

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  2. 07mia on June 10, 2016 1:56 pm

    Dear Harley,
    Wow this is a great piece of writing, I really like the part were you have described the match as nerve racking. Well done for using a fronted adverbial to start your sentence. Have a look at this sentence, can you spot the word that is spelled incorrect? The crowd was screaming so lowd. Well done Harley, I am looking forward to reading more of your 100 word challenges.
    from Mia
    Come and visit year six’s blog and comment on some of our work:http://ribbledriveprimary.net/yearsix2015/

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  3. Jessica Clarke on June 10, 2016 2:27 pm

    Dear Harley,
    WOW, what amazing words you have used to make this amazing piece of writing AWESOME! One of the words I really liked was nerve racking. Well done. Also, you spelt went wrong, you put wheat. Well done!
    From Jessica year six.
    Please come and visit our class blog.
    http://ribbledriveprimary.net/yearsix2015/

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  4. Ellie on June 10, 2016 2:35 pm

    Dear Harley,
    I really like your 100 word challenge. I really like your first sentence: it is an adverbial opener. Well done. I have just spotted another adverbial opener.
    In this sentence : Loudly a whistle let and everyone disappeared from the pitch to cheer in the lockeroom.

    Although this sentence is amazing because it’s an adverbial opener. Look at it in a few places, there is a comma missing after loudly and locker room is two words.
    Overall this is a really good 100 word challenge. Good luck in the next 100wc.
    From Ellie

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  5. Alesha on June 10, 2016 2:46 pm

    Dear Harley,
    wow I LOVED this piece of writing it was really good. You have used really good adverbs and adjectives, you have also used a good use of punctuation.
    Next time remember that there can only be one piece of punctuation at the end of your sentence unless it is speech and you need to put more than one piece of punctuation. for example only put one exclamation mark or one question mark.
    Well Done
    From Alesha

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  6. 11leah on June 16, 2016 10:25 am

    Dear Harly
    I like the way you put that it was nerve racking. I also like the way you discribed the colour of the trophy.

    Maybe you could say who won the match or if it was a draw. when you put the players came over to you maybe you could say that it was the England players or the Wales players

    This was a good price of writing Harley

    From Leah and Oliver

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